No More Jerks in the Workplace!
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It's heartening to get a fresh perspective and striking real-work examples of something I've been working with (and preaching about) for years. When I read Emma Goldberg’s article “No More Working for Jerks!” I found myself nodding and saying “Yep, that sounds about right.”
And I'm happy to share the good news:“For almost two years,” Goldberg writes, “a workforce that had shocking changes imposed on it has reconsidered its basic assumptions about how people treat each other in corporate life.”
In my work I’ve seen that for far too long abrasive managers have gotten away with behaving however they wanted to without fear of repercussions. They’ve held the power, usually by virtue of the perceived value they bring to the organization (or their celebrity status), and anyone who disagreed with them could just ‘put up or shut up.’
“...Jerk behavior exists on a spectrum of cringe,” writes Goldberg. She shares one example of an online team meeting where the company’s chief executive “unleashed an expletive-laden monologue” which prompted a member on the call to “hit mute and usher his young daughter out of the room.”
What’s changed?
The pandemic has shaken up workplace behavior — one of the silver linings to come out of that dark cloud. The workplace experience people were used to tolerating suddenly stopped, offering a work-from-home pause that had them questioning the treatment they’d been facing. “They’ve begun to question,” writes Goldberg, “the thrum of unpleasantness and accumulation of indignities they used to shrug off as part of the office deal. Some are saying: no more working with jerks.”
Social media has contributed to the cause by elevating conversations about appropriate conduct. As Goldberg lists, “The #MeToo movement propelled dozens of executives to step down after accusations of sexual assault. The Black Lives Matter protests after the killing of George Floyd prompted corporate leaders to issue apologies for past discriminatory behaviors and the lack of racial diversity in their work forces and to pledge to make amends.”
A business-life-changing outcome from this new conversation is the Great Resignation facing many industries across America. The power is shifting toward workers who aren’t going to take it anymore. Abrasive behavior — whether it’s from a coworker, manager, or boss — will drive them to find other jobs.
From Resologics’ research on workplace conflict and our own frontline experience, I couldn’t agree more with Emma Goldberg: “Jerkiness, like incompetency, takes a toll on productivity. And competent jerks who rise through the ranks can have wide-reaching effects, especially in a corporate culture that puts more emphasis on output than on how the work gets done.”
I’ve written on about-time comeuppance for jerky behavior in leaders, and there’s a certain satisfaction in watching ‘mistreated-employee’ David triumph over ‘bully boss’ Goliath. But here's what my work with abrasive leaders has taught me: There is no Goliath. No Mr. Burns or Doctor Evil in their high-backed leather chair rubbing their hands together, scheming how to make an employee cry today.
In the real world it’s usually just a frustrated person who doesn’t have the interpersonal skills yet to communicate their wants and ideas to their team of equally frustrated people who are trying to figure out why their boss is chronologically so mean and short-tempered.
Few 'jerks' are intentionally cruel. Most are simply floundering, fearful for their position and lashing out (passively or aggressively) at anyone they feel might jeopardize their status. What comes across as aggression is sometimes no more than ignorance of the effect they’re having on others.
And ignorance can be corrected.
Our team is versed in what workers today expect regarding acceptable, inclusive behavior. We’re specially certified to coach leaders on overcoming abrasive behavior so they can be more effective leaders (and humans). Contact us at 800.465.4141 or team@resologics.com for a consultation or free, confidential Abrasive Leader Diagnostic™.
When we join a company, partnership or team, our expectation is that everyone involved will exhibit professional behavior toward us and each other. Instead, it’s highly possible that we may become one of the more than 60 million adults in the United States who are affected in some way by bullying behavior at work.
What kind of behaviors are we talking about? Our definition is any interpersonal behavior that causes emotional distress in others sufficient enough to impede their productivity or disrupt organizational functioning. It isn’t just a personality conflict — it’s a chronic pattern of disrespectful behavior.