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Important Topics on Harnessing the Power of Conflict

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Four Myths That Perpetuate Abrasive Behavior At Work

When we join a company, partnership or team, our expectation is that everyone involved will exhibit professional behavior toward us and each other. Instead, it’s highly possible that we may become one of the more than 60 million adults in the United States who are affected in some way by bullying behavior at work.

What kind of behaviors are we talking about? Our definition is any interpersonal behavior that causes emotional distress in others sufficient enough to impede their productivity or disrupt organizational functioning. It isn’t just a personality conflict — it’s a chronic pattern of disrespectful behavior.

When your business team starts spiraling down

A healthy business team is one with strong relationships and vibrant engagement. It’s a beautiful place to be, where people feel heard and creative ideas bump against each other in an open, constructive way. We call it the Creative Tension Zone and it’s the dream (or should be) of any organization with an aim toward consistent growth.

Teams fall out of this place for various reasons, and the spiral downward can devolve into destructive conflict. It is critical to know where you and your team are on the Conflict Curve in order to make good decisions in “real time” so you can recognize what’s happening and pull your team back from the Conflict Spiral abyss.

The Difference Between HR and Organizational Ombuds Functions

On average an ombuds will see 3-5% of an organization’s members in the course of a year. Our work as organizational ombuds has increased steadily over the last couple of years, where we’re initially called in because someone in leadership is being dogged by a “small” conflict that won’t go away but keeps festering and growing until they can’t sweep it under the rug any longer. (From there, we typically enter a contractual arrangement with clients where we serve as their ongoing go-to ombuds, mediator, and conflict adviser.)

10 Ways an Ombudsman Can Increase Your Workplace Productivity

He could have been sitting in the corner of the conference room where I was convening as Organizational Ombuds for a team that was stuck - there was (emotional) clutter, plenty of discord, and a really difficult situation. Tension was high, people were venting. At any moment (my experience told me) someone could explode with frustration. It was like a freight train approaching the room, about to crash!

Creative Tension in the Workplace: Who needs it? You do!

Creative Tension Zone is where huge ideas emerge, innovation thrives, and empires are built! The most successful workplace teams know how to manage constructive conflict to encourage creative tension. What every leader needs to know about leveraging the power of conflict in a team.

Workplace Conflict: How to Deal with Hot Buttons

Have you ever said: “That person just presses my buttons”? We call these 'conflict hooks', because your reaction to the button-pusher has the potential to feed conflict. Understanding what conflict hooks are can help you and your team make better response choices.

9 Early Warning Signs of Workplace Conflict

Conflict doesn't just appear out of nowhere. There are always signs warning that a conflict is developing. Managers who know what these signs are can be more effective leaders by confronting the problem before it rages out of hand. By resolving conflict in the early stages, the company will run much more smoothly and the overall productivity level will be increased considerably. What are these subtle signs of conflict to look for?...

December 21, 2023

Kick Off 2024 With Strong Team Agreements

December 21, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

As team lead, manager, or head of your organization, you want to ensure that your teams are cohesive, collaborative, high performing, and strong enough to weather any stormy seas of conflict, crisis, and disruptive behaviors.

This is the stuff of team agreements.

What I sometimes hear from folks is, "Sure, yeah, of course our teams have agreements. Everybody's on the same page." What turns out to be true is that their team agreements are unspoken, unwritten and un-negotiated—meaning, not designed in any thoughtful or clear manner that will set the team up for success.

December 05, 2023

When you find yourself on the receiving end of conflict at work

December 05, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

In the heat of a tough conversation that hooks us (or the other guy) emotionally, those emotions can get the better of us. Our egos get slapped around, our precious values are attacked, even our personal safety can feel threatened.

The truth is that conflict is natural. When two or more people, or groups of people, are not meeting each other’s needs, conflict can arise. When managed well, the conflict can become a productive, creative exchange that brings out something new, collaborative and wonderful—positive conflict.

November 15, 2023

7 benefits to building conflict resilience into your org culture

November 15, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

Why build conflict resilience into your company’s culture?

Fact: In any business environment, challenges and disagreements WILL happen. For a productive and happy workplace it’s crucial to have a plan in place to manage and de-escalate negative conflicts—with the intention to head them off before they begin.
The costs of conflict to your business are real and they are high.

September 21, 2023

Four Steps to Help De-Escalate a Conflict

September 21, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

Conflict De-Escalation is a slowing down (or stopping) of the escalation of conflict. In the mediation world, de-escalation techniques are used to reduce tension, hostility and emotional intensity during the mediation process.

We de-escalate conflict so we can check in with everyone’s needs and take action that will satisfy enough interests to end the conflict or at least restart the negotiation.

If you are in any type of management for your organization, it’s very likely that at some point you’ll encounter negative conflict that needs to be de-escalated. These same mediation techniques can help you diffuse a situation before it gets out of hand.

The best solution is for an organization to do their best to head off negative conflict in the first place, but that’s another story you can read about here. In the meantime…

August 10, 2023

Here’s a simple, powerful exercise to boost trust within your hybrid work team

August 10, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

What factor in high-performing teams is even more important in a hybrid work environment than it ever was in the office setup? In one word, Trust.

Here are just a few key reasons why:

Trust bridges the gap caused by people working from different locations and time zones. Separation can cause misunderstanding, wrong assumptions and, well, mistrust. When trust is embedded in the org culture, teams are more apt to believe in each other’s commitment, intentions, professionalism and work ethic. Trust engenders collaboration which is connected to strong performance.

August 02, 2023

Bad behavior at work: when do you step in?

August 02, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

If you are a CEO, manager, HR professional, or business coach, please read on….

According to the Society of Resource Management (SHRM), 87% of employees say that workplace incivility has negatively affected their performance.

So, at this moment you can safely assume that one or more employees in your organization are on the receiving end of bad behavior — not only negatively affecting their performance, but also their morale and emotional and physical health.

May 25, 2023

Can This Partnership Be Saved?

May 25, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

The cofounder team of six people were all best friends. They threw in all their money and joined together to start this coffee/bakery business in Nevada. They had a really good go in the first couple of years – customer base growing steadily, lots of popularity and people coming into the business interested in what they were doing because of their unique products.

At some point a few years in, they started having disagreements about how things were getting done, who was working the hardest, who was being paid fairly, and who was accountable for which responsibilities. All while the business was in the middle of growing pains.

They called me in as a coach and we did some team coaching. In my process we did interviews and surveys with everyone at the bakery as well as outside stakeholders.

February 07, 2023

Call out unnecessary roughness in your workplace

February 07, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

At some point in your work life you may have witnessed an employee who had an overly aggressive management style that caused friction and conflict with everyone around them.

More often than not, this kind of behavior is swept under the rug, tolerated, or “forgiven” because the person is in a leadership position or they’re perceived to have so much value to the company that it’s “worth” the behavior.

Let’s throw a flag on this play and call it what it really is: Bullying — no matter who does it, no matter how it’s done. It’s unnecessary and unacceptable as a leadership style.

December 20, 2022

Kick Off 2023 With Strong Team Agreements

December 20, 2022/ Mark Batson Baril

This is the stuff of team agreements.

They are informal agreements that have become the rules of behavior over time and morphed into the organizational culture. They become "the way things are done around here."

For better or worse, they are binding on team members. They may not be spelled out in the policies and procedures manual (or even ethical or legal...), but it doesn't take long for new team members to figure out what is rewarded and what is punished. The so-called agreements continue as the norm, and nobody questions if they're good for the team, the workforce, or the organization.

September 22, 2022

Why Abrasive Leaders Become "Winners Who Become Losers"

September 22, 2022/ Mark Batson Baril

It’s natural to make (negative) assumptions about the type of bosses and leaders who make our lives miserable at work—even including terms like “evil,” “a monster” or “insane.”

For professionals who are in the business of working toward a harmonious, engaged, productive, innovative workforce, it’s instructive if not crucial to unpack the package that is called the “abrasive leader.”

“Abrasive leaders become winners…”

First off, we know that abrasive leaders aren’t lacking in ability. In fact, it’s often their technical competence that led to their rise to management. Their skills in their field are rarely brought into question, and in many cases, it’s this competence that has management, leadership, and stakeholders often choosing to ignore the behavior—as it continues to poison the entire organization.

June 21, 2022

How We’re Getting Hooked into Conflict at Work

June 21, 2022/ Mark Batson Baril

Have you ever said: “That person just presses my buttons”? If you’re human, then you’ve felt this at some time or another. You might recall a time when you reacted strongly to it emotionally, and the result was an escalation of the situation, maybe even a fight.

This can happen to the most enlightened, secure, experienced leader or manager. I have seen it often in my conflict engagement work with leaders and teams — and, I confess, I have hot buttons too!

June 07, 2022

The Game-Changing Tool for Productive (and Pleasant) Work Conversations

June 07, 2022/ Mark Batson Baril

What I know from my work as conflict advisor/mediator is that tough conversations are inevitable - in our work lives, community lives, and personal lives. And who in their right mind wants to have a difficult conversation?

Right - no one! So what we tend to do is avoid it, put if off for a day, a week, even a year. But does the issue go away? No, in fact, it festers and grows until it becomes something much more destructive and even dangerous. (That’s too often when we’re brought in to mediate a dispute or conflict that’s gotten out of control over months or even years.)

As an expert in conflict, I’m here to tell you conflict cannot be swept under the rug!

February 10, 2022

Boss Whispering: Solving the problem of abrasive workplace behavior

February 10, 2022/ Mark Batson Baril

The Cambridge University Human Resources Department defines behavior as being unacceptable if:

It is unwanted by the recipient.

It has the purpose or effect of violating the recipient’s dignity and/or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment

Unacceptable behavior is serious business.

As a conflict advisor and coach, I’ve worked with countless leaders who didn’t know they were exhibiting unacceptable behavior. I’m talking about more than a one-time personality clash — it’s chronic behavior that chips away at person’s morale and, literally, ability to do their job. It’s behavior that needs addressing before it permeates an entire organization.

February 01, 2022

Outside Help for an Inside Problem: What can mediation do for you?

February 01, 2022/ Mark Batson Baril

Have you ever witnessed something that had you wondering if you should call someone? Someone on the ground, a car accident, a kid by themselves— these situations leave most of us wondering if everything is alright, if help is already coming, if we need to do anything, or if the situation will resolve itself.

Deciding to bring in an outside mediator is kind of like that. Except you don’t watch a split-second event occur; instead, it unfolds over weeks or months, drip by drip, seeping into the environment and culture, until it almost becomes normalized.

But just because something is normal does not mean it’s okay.

November 23, 2021

Why Good Conduct is Good Business - and Crucial to Your Success

November 23, 2021/ Mark Batson Baril

When someone consistently “rubs us the wrong way,” we often struggle to separate the behavior from the person. We see the act, attribute it to the actor, and the two become synonymous. What follows is a classic relationship slippery slope that usually ends up badly. What we forget in those situations is that behavior can change—and not always for the worse!

As leaders of our organization, we are responsible for our personal conduct on behalf of our company’s values and for the sake of our workforce. This might seem like an optional “soft skill,” but from what I’ve seen as a conflict advisor and coach to leaders, I believe it’s a crucial part of leadership success.

September 23, 2021

10 Quick Tips for Leading Team Conversations in Stressful Situations

September 23, 2021/ Mark Batson Baril

Crisis situations can bring out the best — and the worst — in leaders, teams, employees, partners. We’re only human, and stressful situations cause humans to react emotionally, which tends to show up as anger, fear, aggression, anxiety, quick and poor decisions, and interpersonal conflict.

Let’s face it: If you have more than two people in a room tasked to accomplish something, you have the possibility of conflict — different ideas, personalities, “conflict hooks” all bouncing against each other. As common as it is in normal circumstances, conflict multiplies exponentially in unforeseen situations and crises.

July 01, 2021

Abrasive Behavior at Work: When It’s Not Just a Personality Conflict

July 01, 2021/ Mark Batson Baril

It’s common to accept the abrasive behavior of someone in your workforce as just another cost of doing business. Especially if that person is in a leadership position or perceived as “too valuable” to ruffle any feathers, we’re expected to just let it slide no matter how toxic their behavior becomes.

This could be a big mistake. Choosing to avoid, excuse, or dismiss abrasive behavior in your organization is harmful — it erodes employee motivation, organizational productivity, and customer and stakeholder trust. For the individuals who are targeted? It can become a persistent, wearying, hopeless experience that leaches away their emotional and physical health, especially devastating during these days of stressful post-pandemic adjustment.

April 22, 2021

Four Reasons Why You Need to Train Your People in Conflict Management

April 22, 2021/ Mark Batson Baril

[updated, April, 2018: 5 Reasons to Get Proactive on Conflict Management Training]

The benefits of skillfully managed conflict to an organization’s growth have never been more crucial than in today’s competitive, ever-changing global economy. Conversely, a dispute that is ignored or handled badly can quickly cause distraction, raise stress levels, create barriers to productivity, communications and innovation — and escalate to negative outcomes that cost an organization in measurable ways.

The literature supports conflict-competency benefits and training — but do you believe that there’s ROI on an organization’s investment in training and support for the purpose of developing conflict competency skills and systems before a dispute arises?

January 28, 2021

How To Build Or Repair Trust In Your Team: The Trust Formula

January 28, 2021/ Mark Batson Baril

[Reprint from Forbes.com article by Forbes Coaches Council Member Mark Batson Baril, September 28 2020]

Over the years as an organizational ombuds, I have witnessed the dynamics of thousands of interpersonal relationships in teams. What key factor, particularly during any period of crisis, differentiates the high-performing, responsive team from the one that goes down in flames?

The factor that consistently rises to the top is trust. Mavenlink’s “Future of Work” survey highlights trust as “a pillar of strong work cultures.” More than half of respondents listed it as a top-three preference for “what enables a workplace culture that creates success.”

January 19, 2021

What a Manager Can and Should Do to Stop Bullying Behavior at Work

January 19, 2021/ Mark Batson Baril

“All managers should understand the importance of differentiating performance from conduct, and know how to manage both.” ~ Dr. Laura Crawshaw, An EAP Approach to End Workplace Bullying

We have all experienced leaders who rub their coworkers the wrong way, plaguing the workplace with interpersonal friction that harms morale and productivity. In fact, 19% of us may find ourselves in a bullying situation at work, according to a Workplace Bullying Institute survey.

Especially in the high-tension, uncertain environment we’re experiencing lately, you might be having this experience right now. As a conflict advisor and team coach, I’ve worked with abrasive leaders more times than I’d like to admit. Sometimes I can see a conflict situation brewing that is more than a personality clash — it’s chronic behavior that needs addressing before it poisons the entire team or organization.