How to Have Difficult Conversations (When You Know You're Right): Part 1

How to Have Difficult Conversations (When You Know You're Right): Part 1

“They may forget what you said—but they will never forget how you made them feel." Carl Buechner had the right idea in 1971, you’ve since heard variations: It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it!

In the heat of a workplace disagreement or tough conversation (or person) that hooks us emotionally—these are the moments we need to remember these words most. But it’s exactly when we forget them. Our emotions get the better of us and we say things we don’t mean or, worse, that we regret later. The destruction that follows is swift and sometimes really difficult to repair.

Workplace relationships can be tricky, because while most people say “I truly want your honest feedback” they aren’t actually telling the truth. Even stickier is how we feel about telling someone higher up the command chain when they’re wrong.

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Why Good Conduct is Good Business - and Crucial to Your Success

Why Good Conduct is Good Business - and Crucial to Your Success

When someone consistently “rubs us the wrong way,” we often struggle to separate the behavior from the person. We see the act, attribute it to the actor, and the two become synonymous. What follows is a classic relationship slippery slope that usually ends up badly. What we forget in those situations is that behavior can change—and not always for the worse!

As leaders of our organization, we are responsible for our personal conduct on behalf of our company’s values and for the sake of our workforce. This might seem like an optional “soft skill,” but from what I’ve seen as a conflict advisor and coach to leaders, I believe it’s a crucial part of leadership success.

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