Abrasive Behavior at Work: What is Your Role?

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If you are a CEO, manager, HR professional, or coach/ombuds/mediator who is working on-site, please read on….

According to the Society of Resource Management (SHRM), 87% of employees say that workplace incivility has negatively affected their performance. So, at this moment you can safely assume that one or more employees in your organization might be experiencing abrasive behavior —  not only negatively affecting their performance, but also their morale, and emotional and physical health.

It is your role to intervene. Employers have a responsibility to manage both performance and conduct, assuring the physical and psychological safety of their workforce. 

And, simply put, it’s the right thing to do for your organization and your people.

The thorny part of intervention may be with the most common situation we find in our work: the abrasive leader. Because of their authority, power and influence, it’s easy to brush off the behavior as a “cost of doing business.” The potential damage is too great to ignore. 

What defines abrasive behavior? 

  • Any interpersonal behavior that causes emotional distress in coworkers with the potential to disrupt organizational functioning

  • Behavior characterized by interpersonal interactions that are perceived to be disrespectful

  • Behavior is that not a one-off or personality clash, rather chronic behavior that repeatedly targets an individual, team, or department over time

How do I know abrasive behavior is going on?

Here are some signs and symptoms that chronic abrasive conduct is happening in your workforce:

  • Complaints regarding interactions with coworkers, customers, contractors, teams, etc.

  • Attempts by employees to transfer out of the leader’s area or avoid being transferred in

  • Covert cautions to coworkers: “Watch out for him — don’t get in his way,” or “don’t get on her bad side — you’ll pay if you do!”

  • Attrition of valued employees from the leader’s area

  • Decreased morale and motivation in the leader’s area

  • Excessive managerial time devoted to addressing employee distress

  • Loss of leadership credibility: Failure to intervene is interpreted by employees as weakness or, worse, tacitly condoning the behavior.

Intervention involves setting limits and consequences for continued abrasive behavior, while at the same time offering help in the form of specialized coaching to give the abrasive leader an opportunity to improve their management style. You will need to present your concerns to the individual, and be prepared to respond to their probable defensive reactions. You may also find that other leaders in the organization are reluctant to intervene or cooperate. 

If you experience these situations, it would be important to work with an outside, impartial professional to get the results you need.  We work with such situations as certified Boss Whispering® coaches, helping the individual overcome resistance and change this unacceptable, harmful conduct. We also often work with the colleagues and teams involved, to help move the organization through to a healthier place. 

Next Steps

To learn how to identify whether or not you DO have a case of chronic abrasive behavior that needs your attention, fill in this questionnaire (free, confidential, and no contact information collected): Abrasive Leader Diagnostic™

To learn more about abrasive leaders and how to motivate upper management to intervene, download this article: https://www.bosswhispering.com/Winners-Who-Become_Losers-Chapter.pdf