What to Do about Unprofessional Behavior in Your Workplace

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What to Do about Unprofessional Behavior in Your Workplace

It takes one leader to lead a vision, motivate a team, boost productivity and increase retention. It also only takes one to disrupt a company, erode employee motivation, constrict productivity, and increase attrition. In a volatile market that’s already stressed, the power of leadership is multiplied. In the higher-risk, hyper-competitive environment we are seeing now, these behaviors will exact a toll on a company’s business. Today we’re going to focus on avoiding that toll.

The solution is simple, but it may not be easy: changing abrasive behavior.

What does abrasive behavior look like?

Let’s start with some clarifying definitions. The Boss Whispering Institute defines abrasive behavior as “words and actions [creating] interpersonal friction that grates on subordinates, peers, and even superiors, eroding employee motivation and organizational productivity. Abrasive conduct can range on a continuum from mildly irritating to severely disruptive (otherwise known as workplace bullying).”

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Abrasive Behavior at Work: Who is the Abrasive Leader?

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Abrasive Behavior at Work: Who is the Abrasive Leader?

I’ve written plenty on how abrasive leadership isn’t conducive to a healthy, conflict-competent workplace environment. But what about the abrasive leader? How does this behavior affect them?

The defining traits that will damage an abrasive leader’s career will also damage their personal lives. An abrasive leader isn’t only likely to find themselves on the ropes professionally, they’re going to face real world consequences in every area of their life.

Common co-worker complaints of repeated behaviors are: public humiliation, unpredictable or demeaning behavior, yelling or lack of emotional control, inappropriate hostile or sexual comments or behaviors, maligning another’s character or reputation Do you think someone who exhibits these characteristics professionally suddenly flips a switch on their way out of the office to transform into a considerate, encouraging, or stable individual in their personal life?

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Time Capsules and Change

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Time Capsules and Change

Over the years, I have done my share of renovating houses or commercial buildings that I’ve owned. I developed the tradition of creating a time capsule and inserting it somewhere in the structure — behind a wall, under a floor — so that 100 years later somebody will uncover it. I love to imagine someone finding it and seeing a snapshot from the past tied to something dear to them, and me.

One renovation was a building built in the 1890s and needed a lot of work. The plan was to convert it to an office building to work in and lease out. Our hopes were super high and we were feeling really positive that we were onto something special with this new business concept, so the renovation was a labor of love (and a lot of our money).

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Abrasive Behavior at Work: What is Your Role?

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Abrasive Behavior at Work: What is Your Role?

If you are a CEO, manager, HR professional, or coach/ombuds/mediator who is working on-site, please read on….

According to the Society of Resource Management (SHRM), 87% of employees say that workplace incivility has negatively affected their performance. So, at this moment you can safely assume that one or more employees in your organization might be experiencing abrasive behavior — not only negatively affecting their performance, but also their morale, and emotional and physical health.

It is your role to intervene. Employers have a responsibility to manage both performance and conduct, assuring the physical and psychological safety of their workforce.

And, simply put, it’s the right thing to do for your organization and your people.

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Abrasive Behavior at Work: When It’s Not Just a Personality Conflict

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Abrasive Behavior at Work: When It’s Not Just a Personality Conflict

It’s common to accept the abrasive behavior of someone in your workforce as just another cost of doing business. Especially if that person is in a leadership position or perceived as “too valuable” to ruffle any feathers, we’re expected to just let it slide no matter how toxic their behavior becomes.

This could be a big mistake. Choosing to avoid, excuse, or dismiss abrasive behavior in your organization is harmful — it erodes employee motivation, organizational productivity, and customer and stakeholder trust. For the individuals who are targeted? It can become a persistent, wearying, hopeless experience that leaches away their emotional and physical health, especially devastating during these days of stressful post-pandemic adjustment.

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Abrasive Leaders at Work: You’re Not Helpless ...They’re Not Hopeless

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Abrasive Leaders at Work: You’re Not Helpless ...They’re Not Hopeless

If you have anything to do with human beings in your workplace (virtual or otherwise), please read on!

We have all experienced leaders who rub their coworkers the wrong way, where their words and actions create interpersonal friction that grates on subordinates, peers, and even superiors.

This behavior tends to be avoided, tolerated, or “forgiven” because that person is in a leadership position. Or they’re perceived to have so much value to the company that it’s “worth” the behavior.

But here is the costly truth: When this behavior is persistent (chronic) it plagues the workplace causing serious harm to morale and productivity. Abrasive behaviors cause emotional distress and disrupt organizational functioning. I have seen this behavior bring a team, and even an organization, to its knees.

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Are You Wondering if You Are a Good Leader?

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Are You Wondering if You Are a Good Leader?

Within a cyber-stone’s throw you can find leadership assessments that list any number of essential qualities a “good” leader must possess. Many relate to the systems you’ve built around your people: Are you hiring good people? Do you have effective onboarding and training systems? Are you holding on to your best people? Do you have good succession planning in place?

All important skills, to be sure — and measurable. But, as they say, skills and systems are only as good as the people who apply them. I have come to believe that behaviors are the root-cause drivers of a leader’s ability to succeed, and be a good leader.

Experts on the Forbes Human Resources Council offer their take on some essential traits leaders need to have, such as: High EQ (emotional intelligence) and AQ (adaptability), active listening, empathy, open communication, hyper-transparency, receptivity, and mindfulness. Music to my ears in my work coaching executive level leaders — yet it’s tough to measure “soft skills” like these.

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“Time’s Up” on Bad Leadership Behavior: Lessons From Scott Rudin’s Story

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“Time’s Up” on Bad Leadership Behavior: Lessons From Scott Rudin’s Story

The Washington Post headline says it all: “Scott Rudin’s bad behavior was just another Hollywood cliche until a new generation said time’s up.” You may know Scott Rudin as an award-winning film, television and theater producer, whose film successes include No Country for Old Men, Lady Bird, Fences, The Social Network, Clueless, and Broadway shows like The Book of Mormon.

For me as a conflict advisor and Boss Whispering® coach, Scott Rudin is the poster child of the many leaders out there who are poisoning their organizations with their disrespectful, disruptive behavior. And I’m grateful it’s been brought to light for the sake of all those people who have been emotionally harmed by an abrasive leader.

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3 Steps to Build Trust in Your Team

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3 Steps to Build Trust in Your Team

We explored in the article, "How Trust is Essential to a Productive Workplace," what can happen when trust is missing, and how trust is a cornerstone to employee engagement, productivity, and more. As Dr. David Ballard, the head of APA's Center for Organizational Excellence, says: “...Lack of trust should serve as a wake-up call for employers...Trust plays an important role in the workplace and affects employees’ well-being and job performance."

Building trust within your team is an ongoing process that grows over time, and it starts with you as the leader of your team, department, or organization.

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Three Ways To Diagnose Disruptive Behavior That's Hurting Your Company

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Three Ways To Diagnose Disruptive Behavior That's Hurting Your Company

When it comes to human behavior (especially predicting and managing it), professionals in the field talk about "measuring the unmeasurable." If you've spent any time in almost any workplace, you can see how "measuring" behavior and its effects could be a thorny effort.

Most leadership assessments I've seen are based on important skills such as executing strategy, hiring, retention, succession, team and change management. However, when the rubber meets the road, it's an individual's personal characteristics and style that can make or break their success as a leader.

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Four Myths That Perpetuate Abrasive Behavior At Work

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Four Myths That Perpetuate Abrasive Behavior At Work

When we join a company, partnership or team, our expectation is that everyone involved will exhibit professional behavior toward us and each other. Instead, it’s highly possible that we may become one of the more than 60 million adults in the United States who are affected in some way by bullying behavior at work.

What kind of behaviors are we talking about? Our definition is any interpersonal behavior that causes emotional distress in others sufficient enough to impede their productivity or disrupt organizational functioning. It isn’t just a personality conflict — it’s a chronic pattern of disrespectful behavior.

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15 Proactive Strategies That Establish Entry-Level Professionals As Leaders

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15 Proactive Strategies That Establish Entry-Level Professionals As Leaders

From Expert Panel, Forbes Coaches Council, Forbes.com, December 11, 2019

Update From Mark, July 31, 2020: Although the current pandemic has had a significant effect on employment and new hiring for the foreseeable future, it is still important to perhaps more than ever to consider your reputation as a leader at any stage of your career. These tips are still relevant and I hope helpful as you navigate these challenging times and continue in your career.

As a newer employee, establishing your reputation among more seasoned colleagues can be a challenge. However, positioning yourself as a leader early on can have both immediate and long-lasting benefits in your career.

How can you stake your claim as a trustworthy future leader and prove your value to your senior co-workers? We asked a panel of Forbes Coaches Council members to share some lesser-known ways for greener employees to establish themselves as leaders. Their best tips are below.

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