resoblog

Important Topics on Harnessing the Power of Conflict

Featured Blog Posts
(scroll down or search for all posts)

Resoblog

Four Myths That Perpetuate Abrasive Behavior At Work

When we join a company, partnership or team, our expectation is that everyone involved will exhibit professional behavior toward us and each other. Instead, it’s highly possible that we may become one of the more than 60 million adults in the United States who are affected in some way by bullying behavior at work.

What kind of behaviors are we talking about? Our definition is any interpersonal behavior that causes emotional distress in others sufficient enough to impede their productivity or disrupt organizational functioning. It isn’t just a personality conflict — it’s a chronic pattern of disrespectful behavior.

When your business team starts spiraling down

A healthy business team is one with strong relationships and vibrant engagement. It’s a beautiful place to be, where people feel heard and creative ideas bump against each other in an open, constructive way. We call it the Creative Tension Zone and it’s the dream (or should be) of any organization with an aim toward consistent growth.

Teams fall out of this place for various reasons, and the spiral downward can devolve into destructive conflict. It is critical to know where you and your team are on the Conflict Curve in order to make good decisions in “real time” so you can recognize what’s happening and pull your team back from the Conflict Spiral abyss.

The Difference Between HR and Organizational Ombuds Functions

On average an ombuds will see 3-5% of an organization’s members in the course of a year. Our work as organizational ombuds has increased steadily over the last couple of years, where we’re initially called in because someone in leadership is being dogged by a “small” conflict that won’t go away but keeps festering and growing until they can’t sweep it under the rug any longer. (From there, we typically enter a contractual arrangement with clients where we serve as their ongoing go-to ombuds, mediator, and conflict adviser.)

10 Ways an Ombudsman Can Increase Your Workplace Productivity

He could have been sitting in the corner of the conference room where I was convening as Organizational Ombuds for a team that was stuck - there was (emotional) clutter, plenty of discord, and a really difficult situation. Tension was high, people were venting. At any moment (my experience told me) someone could explode with frustration. It was like a freight train approaching the room, about to crash!

Creative Tension in the Workplace: Who needs it? You do!

Creative Tension Zone is where huge ideas emerge, innovation thrives, and empires are built! The most successful workplace teams know how to manage constructive conflict to encourage creative tension. What every leader needs to know about leveraging the power of conflict in a team.

Workplace Conflict: How to Deal with Hot Buttons

Have you ever said: “That person just presses my buttons”? We call these 'conflict hooks', because your reaction to the button-pusher has the potential to feed conflict. Understanding what conflict hooks are can help you and your team make better response choices.

9 Early Warning Signs of Workplace Conflict

Conflict doesn't just appear out of nowhere. There are always signs warning that a conflict is developing. Managers who know what these signs are can be more effective leaders by confronting the problem before it rages out of hand. By resolving conflict in the early stages, the company will run much more smoothly and the overall productivity level will be increased considerably. What are these subtle signs of conflict to look for?...

March 28, 2025

Ghouls No More: Why Workplace Bullying Needs More Than Just Mediation

March 28, 2025/ Mark Batson Baril

By Mark Batson Baril Mediator | Team Coach | Conflict Guide | Founder, Resologics

Let’s talk about that ghost in the office. You know the one. The high performer everyone avoids. The one who leaves a trail of tension, fear, and exit interviews. Too valuable to lose, too toxic to ignore. It’s time we stop calling them "difficult personalities" or chalking it up to "just their style." Let’s call them what they are: abrasive workers. And let’s get clear—what they need isn’t another communication training. They need an intervention.

The Cost of Looking Away

(1)Research shows that workplace bullying costs organizations dearly:

66% of people report performance decline
78% say their commitment to the organization drops
12% leave entirely

When managers do nothing, they lose credibility. Employees interpret inaction as complicity. The message: “Bad behavior is okay if you bring in enough revenue.”

Two Broken Systems That Keep the Cycle Alive

At the heart of persistent abrasive behavior lie two broken systems.

System 1: The Organizational System

This is the structure and culture around the abrasive worker. Managers are often trained to track metrics—sales numbers, deliverables, deadlines—but not conduct. Conflict gets labeled a “personality clash” and swept aside.

The result? The high performer is protected, while others suffer or leave. Morale erodes. Turnover spikes. Leadership credibility tanks.

System 2: The Human System (The Abrasive Worker’s Inner World)

This system is personal and psychological. Abrasive individuals often lack emotional awareness and don’t understand their impact. They’re not always malicious—often they’re anxious, defensive, or unaware.

Trying to fix one system without the other is a recipe for failure.

The Broken Pipe Metaphor

Trying to solve abrasive behavior with a mediation or a one-off training is like slapping a Band-Aid on a busted pipe. Sure, it might stop the drip for a moment—but pressure keeps building underneath. Eventually, the pipe bursts. Everyone around gets soaked.

Good conflict resolution isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about permanent repairs. Diagnosing the system, understanding pressure points, and doing the courageous work of fixing the plumbing—not patching the leak.

Why Traditional Fixes Fail
We’ve tried:

Communication workshops
Mediation sessions
Facilitated team meetings
Coaching both parties
Avoiding the problem until retirement

These don’t address the real dysfunction.

The Fix That Works

Diagnose the system: Confirm behavior patterns through multiple data sources.
Empower management: Teach the difference between performance and conduct.
Coach the abrasive worker: 82% of abrasive leaders can change—but only with firm intervention and support.

What Courage Looks Like

Intervening isn’t punitive—it’s compassionate. You're giving someone the tools to grow. But if they can’t or won’t change, leadership must be ready to act. Because here's the truth: You can't build a people-first culture by excusing people-last behavior.

Final Thought

HR professionals, team leads, and managers—you’re the guardians of workplace safety and sanity. It’s not just your right to act. It’s your responsibility.

If your Spidey Sense is tingling? Listen to it. That’s the call to start fixing what’s broken—for everyone’s sake.

Need support diagnosing your workplace conflict? Reach out. www.resologics.com | mark@resologics.com or go directly to the industry’s diagnostic tool, https://s.abrasiveleaderdiagnostic.com/secure_public

(1) Pearson, C.M., & Porath, C.L. (2009). The Cost of Bad Behavior: How Incivility Is Damaging Your Business and What to do About It. New York: Portfolio/Penguin Group (USA).

September 26, 2023

Measuring the Unmeasurable: How to Assess Disruptive Behavior in Your Workplace

September 26, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

When it comes to human behavior (especially predicting and managing it), professionals in the field talk about "measuring the unmeasurable."

Most leadership assessments I've seen are based on important skills such as executing strategy, hiring, retention, succession, team and change management. However, when the rubber meets the road, it's an individual's personal characteristics and style that can make or break their success as a leader.

My work with teams and leaders has convinced me that it's a worthy effort to assess individual styles and behaviors and their impact on achieving outcomes. The cost to a leadership team that ignores—or accepts—abrasive behaviors is high.

May 25, 2023

Can This Partnership Be Saved?

May 25, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

The cofounder team of six people were all best friends. They threw in all their money and joined together to start this coffee/bakery business in Nevada. They had a really good go in the first couple of years – customer base growing steadily, lots of popularity and people coming into the business interested in what they were doing because of their unique products.

At some point a few years in, they started having disagreements about how things were getting done, who was working the hardest, who was being paid fairly, and who was accountable for which responsibilities. All while the business was in the middle of growing pains.

They called me in as a coach and we did some team coaching. In my process we did interviews and surveys with everyone at the bakery as well as outside stakeholders.

April 17, 2023

What's behind the leader who behaves badly at work

April 17, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

For professionals responsible for a productive, engaged, harmonious workplace, it’s crucial to know what will be disruptive to that environment. Especially when the culprit could likely be a leader in the company.

What do we need to know, and do, about leaders who are regularly behaving badly and harming everyone in their orbit?

Let's get to know these folks, and what may be behind that behavior...

“Abrasive leaders become winners…”

First off, we know that abrasive leaders aren’t lacking in ability. Often it's their technical competence that led to their rise to management. It's this competence that often has management, fellow leaders, and stakeholders choosing to ignore the behavior—even as it continues to poison the workplace.

April 04, 2023

When the abrasive leader is THE leader (If I knew then what I know now)

April 04, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

As a conflict advisor I worked with a large nonprofit organization over several years with mediation and consulting work around conflict within their various departments.

I began hearing through the grapevine that this particular person we’ll call Marie was a very, very difficult person to work for.

At first I thought they had to be talking about someone else! I’d met Marie, and heard a lot of folks in that community talk about how brilliant she was and one of the most likable and charismatic people you’d ever want to meet.

February 28, 2023

Bad Behavior at Work: You know you should do something

February 28, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

“You know you should do something about Chris, but you’re not sure what. You just received another complaint about his abrasive behavior. This isn’t the only complaint—they’ve been adding up. You haven’t done anything yet—you’ve been busy…You’ve been waiting to see if things would improve on their own. They haven’t.”(1)

If you’re wondering when to cross that line and do something, please consider this: Employees rarely report the suffering they experience from bosses or managers who bully them. Read this to learn why this is true. If it has gone so far that you're receiving more than one complaint, err on the side of believing that the effect of the behavior is more damaging than you think, to have brought these people forward to report it.

February 23, 2023

What if your employees are afraid to speak out?

February 23, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

"See something, say something" or "Snitches get stitches?" headlines the 2023 Ethical Culture Report, recently released by Ethisphere Institute. The standout for me from this analysis of global trends in org culture was about unethical behavior in the workplace and how, or if, employees are reporting it.

What struck me is that even though employees responded that they were willing to report misconduct when they saw it, only about half of them actually did so.

Why do they make the choice not to report misconduct?

February 07, 2023

Call out unnecessary roughness in your workplace

February 07, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

At some point in your work life you may have witnessed an employee who had an overly aggressive management style that caused friction and conflict with everyone around them.

More often than not, this kind of behavior is swept under the rug, tolerated, or “forgiven” because the person is in a leadership position or they’re perceived to have so much value to the company that it’s “worth” the behavior.

Let’s throw a flag on this play and call it what it really is: Bullying — no matter who does it, no matter how it’s done. It’s unnecessary and unacceptable as a leadership style.

January 26, 2023

The Day I Quit My Job: The story of a bully boss

January 26, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

When I was in my mid-20s, I moved to New England to work as a shop manager for a construction company. A family business of about 40 employees, I worked directly for the owner, Jack.

I remember like it was yesterday the very first day I arrived at work. Parking my truck and turning the corner toward the building, I heard before seeing my new boss screaming at the top of his lungs at a woman, who I learned later was a sister who worked for him. I really thought they were going to come to blows, but she seemed to be beaming right back at him, so I made myself as invisible as possible and continued on my way into the office.

January 17, 2023

What is the thorniest issue that keeps your employees up at night?

January 17, 2023/ Mark Batson Baril

In the top 3 of any list ranking the most common workplace issues, you will see “interpersonal conflict” or “bullying and harassment”—not pay, not recognition, not opportunities for promotion...

“The accelerated pace of change in today’s workplace and in our overall society is one more factor impacting workplace mental health.” [Source: SHRM]

It’s no surprise that the most common workplace issues on almost every survey list are not about pay, promotion, or benefits. We see that interpersonal conflict, bullying and harassment, communication and relationship problems consistently top these lists.