When the abrasive leader is THE leader (If I knew then what I know now)

When the abrasive leader is THE leader   (If I knew then what I know now)

As a conflict advisor I worked with a large nonprofit organization over several years with mediation and consulting work around conflict within their various departments.

I began hearing through the grapevine that this particular person we’ll call Marie was a very, very difficult person to work for. 

At first I thought they had to be talking about someone else! I’d met Marie, and heard a lot of folks in that community talk about how brilliant she was and one of the most likable and charismatic people you’d ever want to meet. 

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Emotional abuse at work: 8 warning signs that there’s a problem

Emotional abuse at work: 8 warning signs that there’s a problem

“The accelerated pace of change in today’s workplace and in our overall society is one more factor impacting workplace mental health.” [Source: SHRM]

It’s no surprise that the most common workplace issues on almost every survey list are not about pay, promotion, or benefits. We see that interpersonal conflict, bullying and harassment, communication and relationship problems consistently top these lists.

Recent statistics show that [Source: 2021 WBI U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey]:

  • 30% of adults are bullied at work (compared to 19% in 2017)

  • 43.2% of remote workers are bullied

  • 65% of bullies are bosses; 4% have admitted their bullying which represents 6.6 million individuals

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The #1 Tool You Need to Manage Toxic Behavior at Work

The #1 Tool You Need to Manage Toxic Behavior at Work

“It’s not sweat or revenue that makes companies tick; it’s trust,” says John Hall writing for Forbes.com. Trust is a foundational principle of the work we do with teams at Resologics, which is why we study interpersonal relationship factors in the workplace that either enhance trust or erode trust.

My work with teams and leaders has convinced me that it's a worthy effort to assess individual styles and behaviors and their impact on the level of trust within a workplace. The most poisonous situation I see that challenges trust involves the abrasive coworker or leader.

We see how a persistent pattern of disrespectful, aggressive, even bullying behavior drives people away from that individual and the goals they're trying to accomplish. It erodes trust in the individuals at the receiving end of this behavior, and also in the perception that management isn’t doing anything to address the problem they are experiencing so acutely.

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Abrasive Leaders at Work: You’re Not Helpless ...They’re Not Hopeless

Abrasive Leaders at Work: You’re Not Helpless ...They’re Not Hopeless

If you have anything to do with human beings in your workplace (virtual or otherwise), please read on!

We have all experienced leaders who rub their coworkers the wrong way, where their words and actions create interpersonal friction that grates on subordinates, peers, and even superiors.

This behavior tends to be avoided, tolerated, or “forgiven” because that person is in a leadership position. Or they’re perceived to have so much value to the company that it’s “worth” the behavior.

But here is the costly truth: When this behavior is persistent (chronic) it plagues the workplace causing serious harm to morale and productivity. Abrasive behaviors cause emotional distress and disrupt organizational functioning. I have seen this behavior bring a team, and even an organization, to its knees.

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Team agreements: A key to high-performing, happy teams

Team agreements: A key to high-performing, happy teams

Whether it's an operating agreement between startup founders, a safe communications agreement within a team, or ground rules for a project committee -- every team has agreements around how they will work together.

For most teams these agreements are unspoken, unwritten and un-negotiated, nonetheless they become the rules of behavior and are binding on team members. They are "the way things are done around here." They may not be in the policies and procedures manual, but it doesn't take long for new team members to figure out what is rewarded and what is punished.

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Universal Human Capacities for Conflict Resolution: A Search for Reliable Cross-Cultural Peacemaker Tools

Universal Human Capacities for Conflict Resolution: A Search for Reliable Cross-Cultural Peacemaker Tools

What are the universal human core capacities, desires, and innate abilities people in conflict possess that cross-cultural peacemakers can always count on to help parties resolve conflicts? The purpose of answering this question is to help peacemakers develop a clear idea of how parties from different cultures can be guided through conflict resolution processes. I believe that conflict intervention strategies and processes must largely center on the parties’ common core abilities to resolve conflict. Although several categories of human universals will be explored here, the focus of this literature review and research is to examine the current theories that surround the human ability to resolve conflict. Some questions have naturally emerged from this study: Do we know how to resolve conflicts at birth or is it a learned skill? Are there aspects of our innate abilities that predispose us to resolve conflicts without violence? What are those innate abilities and how can we as conflict managers use them to help keep the peace?

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Cops and Communities: How Conflict Management Training Can Help

Cops and Communities: How Conflict Management Training Can Help

We have entered an era of increased police scrutiny, sparked by recent accounts of abusive police practices. People we never knew suddenly have become household names representing the many sad sides of this issue, and a highly emotional and complicated discourse has occupied our society.

No one disputes that the job of the police officer is a dangerous and often thankless one. They put their lives on the line every day, with the potential of facing an armed, hardheaded, impulsive, predatory, violent person, and under constant pressure to make quick, potentially life-or-death decisions. And no one would dispute that the core mission and obligation of law enforcement is to protect life, keep peace, enforce society’s laws, and offer a framework for people to live freely without the worry of victimization.

21st Century Policing: Conflict Management Training...

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